A Letter to Saint Francis de Sales – Patron Saint for Writers

Dear Saint Francis de Sales,

I’ve been struck with a bout of writer’s block, struggling to get pen to page or finger to keyboard. Do you know what a keyboard is? You passed well before the computer age. Anyway, it’s not just writer’s block. I feel like I’ve been dropped in a windowless, doorless cement room. There’s a blank piece of paper on a table in the center of the dull room, but no pen or pencil. So I make paper airplanes. You get the point.

So I have a few questions for you that I hope you’ll answer and help get me started again. Here they are:

  1. Saint Francis de Sales, where the hell have you been?
  2. Saint Francis de Sales, should I pray directly to God? Will I get a better result?
  3. Saint Francis de Sales, will this only work if I address you by full name at the beginning of each question, or can I dive right in? How about I call you Frany?
  4. Frany, how many times a day do I have to pray to you so that I overcome this? The walls are caving in.
  5. Frany, who prayed to you more, Hemingway or Faulkner? I bet Hemingway talked to you more overall, but he probably cursed you a lot. Faulkner probably spoke to you for hours at a time.

That’s all I’ve got for now. I’ll await your response.

Cheers,

Desperate Writer

P.S. Don’t take too long.

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About mattdevir

I live with my wife – and inspiration – in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. I have written and produced television shows for The Discovery Channel, TLC, HGTV, and Baby First Television. In addition to reading my work here, you can also find it on Fictionaut.com, Istanbul Literary Review, and Pure Slush. I have many nicknames – Benny, Baber, and Beaver being the most popular. Every now and then someone calls me Faber. Feel free to use any of those. I understand my last name is a bit tough.
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4 Responses to A Letter to Saint Francis de Sales – Patron Saint for Writers

  1. H.E. ELLIS says:

    I’m struck with writer’s block daily. I feel your pain.

  2. H.E. ELLIS says:

    Porn. Lots and lots of porn.

  3. rytis says:

    from your bio, you live with your wife, who is your inspiration… hmm, I’m sensing something here, it’s very feint, but wait for it… wait for it…

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